Tag Archive | holiday

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The Bird In The Freezer

The Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.            

Every word out of the bird’s’ mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.  John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to ‘clean up’ the bird’s vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The  parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.Then suddenly there was total quiet.  Not a peep was heard for over a minute..

Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.  The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.  I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, “May I ask what the turkey did?”

HAPPY THANKSGIVING                  

The Best Fourth Of July Ever!

I decided to post this video of my friends and I shooting off a few firecrackers last night ( the 3rd of July ) Just before the cops came, I’m pretty sure the neighbors called them. The third firecracker nearly took my friends hand off hence the safety issue. No arrest were made but they did confiscate our beer, they said something about city limits and the state of Missouri blah blah blah .

 

Perhaps if we waited till the fourth things would have turned out a little better.

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