A young woman was about to finish her first year
of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be
very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor
of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words
redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch
conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had
participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt
that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he
thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher
taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.
The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be
the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how
she as doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA,
and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking
a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left
her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn’t even
have time for a boyfriend, and didn’t really have many college friends
because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey
She replied, “Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy
classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so
popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She’s always invited to all the
parties and lots of times she doesn’t even show up for classes because she’s
too hung over.”
Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don’t you go to the Dean’s
office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who
only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that
would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.”
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father’s suggestion, angrily
fired back, “That’s a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I’ve worked
really hard for my grades! I’ve invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work!
Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I
worked my tail off!”
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, “Welcome to the
conservative side of the fence.”
If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a
If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his
A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches
Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and Jesus silenced.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about
shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.